Jokes: If you kiss her
https://64.media.tumblr.com/398cadaede50afb836b4de07617fa3fe/f7a6b644158ce598-1a/s540x810/1f300c7af0c9000967ddd0b4afa5d904ff2010a1.gifvIf you kiss her, you are not a gentleman 吻她吧，不够君子
If you don't, you are not a man 不吻吧，不象汉子
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying 夸她吧，说你欺骗
If you don't, you are good for nothing 不夸吧，说你笨蛋
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing 顺她吧，说你气管炎
If you don't, you are not understanding 不顺吧，不善解人
If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man' 太浪漫，疑你老练
If you don't you are half a man 太规矩，魅力不足
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring 常看她，招她厌烦
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing 少去点，怨你猎艳
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy 穿得好，说你花心
If you don't, you are a dull boy 邋遢些，缺个心眼
If you are jealous, she says it's bad 吃醋吧，你太狭隘
If you don't , she thinks you do not love her 大度点，说你不爱
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her 求欢吧，不够尊重
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her 安分吧，不够爱宠
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait 你晚了，她等得烦
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way 她晚了，女孩特权
https://data.whicdn.com/images/308419778/original.gif the morning Tom calls to his boss:
- Good morning, boss, unfortunately I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my both hands and legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."
The boss replies:
- You know Tom, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that.
2 hours later Bob calls:
- Boss, I followed your advise, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house.
https://64.media.tumblr.com/a4f45f9dc16c4006263410568b25aa51/b05aae8c01a16c43-03/s250x400/ea9ce072db52d2d18a5fc9d9f153c622f9f9c95f.gifv
Funny adult jokes - Sex without condoms
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband:
- Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks...
Husband:
- And what the dentist said?
https://c.tenor.com/85TypoU6cxYAAAAM/notebook-thenotebook.gif
- Have you heard? Professor Mr. Smith from our apartment house is a gay!
- Waw, what a surprise! I have been sleeping with him for half of a year, but never knew he was a professor...
- Dady, what is in between mummy's legs?
- A paradise.
- And what's between your's?
- The key.
- So you should change the lock, because our neighbour has a passkey.
https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/a35044/5a3a5572-8805-4b13-8298-6eedc9bfe86c.gif
“It's the kind of kiss that inspires stars to climb into the sky and light up the world.”
https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/a35044/fa381fea-88c7-430b-a699-926b0acc7b66.gif
https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/a35044/af40574e-ab13-42ec-9936-c71296f2e584.gif
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