Adults are hiding one secret

5vanno

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her,
"I know the whole truth."
His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work,
and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."
The father promptly hands him $40 and says,
"Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door.
The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman immediately drops the mail,
opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

5vanno

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental.
He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner,
so that night, she does just that.
About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says,
"Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said!
It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up,
raked all the food and dishes onto the floor,
grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off,
and ravaged me right there on the table!"
The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong!
The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
"Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

5vanno

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate,
try startling yourself."
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol
and ran home to his wife.
That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position.
The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went.
The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol,
my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis,
and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."