Folk joke

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老公發工資了，拿回家準備討好老婆。

就對他的老婆說：“親愛的，我發工資了。親我一下錢歸你了。”

　　老婆遲遲無動於衷。老公見老婆沒有反應。

又喊了一句：“你要是再不來我就去找人伺候我了，把錢都給她了。”

老婆淡淡地回了一句：“你要是敢去，這些錢你是怎麼花的，我就怎麼賺回來。”

Husband wages, and take home ready to please his wife.

Told his wife, said:. "Honey, I made ​​money wages kiss me yours."

Wife delay indifferent. Husband see his wife did not respond.

Shouting the sentence: "If you do not come I went to serve my people, and the money to her."

Wife dismissively retorted: "If you dare, you are how to spend the money, I would how to earn back."

smile9

Xiao Ming bad math by their parents to transfer to a church school. Six months later the whole math A. Mother asked: "Is teaching nuns teach well is a good prayer ......???" "No," Little said, "to go to school the first day, I saw a man being crucified on the plus sign above, I would know ...... they are playing for real. "

小明數學不好被父母轉學到一間教會學校。半年後數學成績全A。媽媽問：“是修女教得好？是教材好？是禱告？……”“都不是，”小明說，“進學校的第一天，我看見一個人被釘死在加號上面，我就知道……他們是玩真的。”

smile9

Words of a lady on a whim, bought a female parrot. I did not expect back home, the first thing it says is: "I ​​want to go to bed yet?"

Miss one, I thought: bad, outsiders thought these words I taught it, this is not the whole image of my lady ruined. So she tried every means, to pay the parrot to say something elegant, but it would only be bent a female parrot, would only say one sentence: "? Want me to go to bed yet."

...... How to do it? When the lady lose proposition, and I heard the priest there also keeps a parrot (male), and the parrot, not only do not speak foul language, but is a devout Christian, most of the time every day in prayer. So the woman went to the priest for help. After the priest had come to understand her, looking slightly difficult to say: "This is difficult to do it, in fact, the parrot, did not deliberately teach it anything, it is the reason why so pious, it could be a long time on this subject to the influence of because of it. "

Fathers see Ms. very lost, he said:. "Well, you put the parrot brought me here, I want to put them together over a period of time, your parrot can be probation I can do them , there is no effect, to see the will of God the ...... "

Miss one, and only this, is not there a saying: He that knows it? Try it. So she took the parrot to the priest there. Father accordance promise to put together two parrots. Female parrot some cautious start to see the bird male parrot in a cage corner of silent prayer, really do not have the heart to disturb. But she still stop myself, and finally broke into, said: "? Want me to go to bed yet."

Male parrot hearing this, stopped praying, turned and looked at the mother parrot, suddenly burst into tears: "Thank God, I pray that the desire for so many years finally realized ......"

話說某位女士一時興起，買了一隻母鸚鵡。沒想到帶回家裡，它說的第一句話就是：“想跟我上床嗎？”

女士一聽，心想：壞了，外人還以為這話是我教的呢， 這不把我的淑女形象全給毀了。於是她想盡辦法，想交那隻鸚鵡說些高雅的東西，可是那隻母鸚鵡算是鐵了心了，只會說一句話：“想跟我上床嗎？”

　　……怎麼辦呢？在那位女士失去主張的時候，聽說神父那兒也養了一隻鸚鵡（公的​​），而且那隻鸚鵡，不但不講粗話，反而是個虔誠的教徒，每天大部分時間裡都在禱告。於是那位女士去找神父求助。神父明白她的來意之後，面色微難的說：“這個，很難辦呀，其實那隻鸚鵡，也並沒有刻意的教它什麼，它之所以這麼虔誠，也可能是長期在此受熏陶的緣故吧。”

神父見女士很失落，便說道：“這樣吧，你把那隻鸚鵡帶到我這裡來，我把它們放在一起。希望經過一段時間，你那隻鸚鵡能夠被感化。我只能做這些了，有沒有效果，就看神的旨意了……”

女士一聽，也只能這樣了，不是有句話叫：近朱者赤嗎？試試吧。於是她把鸚鵡帶到神父那裡。神父依照諾言把兩隻鸚鵡放在了一起。開始母鸚鵡還有些拘謹，看那隻公鸚鵡在籠子的一角，默默的禱告，還真不忍心打擾。可是她還是管不住自己，終於朗聲說道：“想跟我上床嗎？“

公鸚鵡聽到這話，停止了禱告，轉身看了看母鸚鵡，忽然淚如雨下：“感謝上帝，我禱告這麼多年的願望終於實現了……”