What time is it?

forever

       
A tramp lie down and sleep in the park. He had been sleeping for about 5 minutes when a couple walked by. The man stopped, woke the tramp up , and asked him, "Excuse me.

Do you know what the time is?" The tramp replied, "I'm sorry - I don't have a watch, so I don't know the time."

The man apologised for waking the tramp and the couple walked away.

The tramp lay down again, and after a few minutes went back to sleep. Just then, a woman, who was out walking her dog, shook the tramp's shoulder until he woke up again.

The woman said, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'm afraid I've lost my watch - do you happen to know the time?" The tramp was a little annoyed at being woken up again, but he politely told the woman that he didn't have a watch and didn't know the time.

After the woman had gone, the tramp had an idea.



He opened the bag that contained all his possessions and got out a pen, a piece of paper and some string. On the paper, he wrote down, 'I do not have a watch. I do not know the time'.

He then hung the paper round his neck and eventually dropped off again.

After about 15 minutes, a policeman who was walking through the park noticed the tramp asleep on the bench, and the sign around his neck.

He woke the tramp up and said, "I read your sign. I thought you'd like to know that it's 2:30 p.m."

ribot3

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.  The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.  She dresses quickly and goes to find him.  The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"  The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

ribot3

There were three daughters and they all wanted to get married but they couldn't afford it and neither could there parents.  So the parents said "We will give you all a joint wedding and then you will all be able to get married". So they got married and all three daughters then said "I want a honeymoon but we cant afford it".  The parents couldn't afford it either so they deiced they would have the honeymoon at their parents house. So on there honeymoon night their mother woke up and deiced to go downstairs and get a drink.  On the way down she heard the first daughter screaming but she juts ignored it.  When she reached the second daughters bedroom she could hear laughing and just ignored it.  When she reached the third daughters room she could hear nothing and deiced 2 ignore it. The next morning at the breakfast table she said to the first daughter "Why were you screaming?".  And the daughter replied "Well mother you told me 2 scream when something hurt." Then the mother said to the second daughter "Why were you laughing last night?" and the daughter replied "Mother you told me to laugh when something tickled". Then the mother said to the last daughter "Why didn't I hear anything coming from your room last night?" and the daughter replied "Well mother you told me never to talk with my mouth full".

ribot3

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!"  He said, "Explain the kids!"