My life was like a story

conson

Like a story

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I'm bored with who I am. Life is boring me. I don't think I'm the kind of person I want to be. I don't know who I want to be but then again I kinda do.

I love to read these stories people write online where the characters in them have their normal lives like we do, but they have these sort of emotional or just situations going on. Maybe they fall deeply in love, or they have these personalities that make them interesting people, or I don't know, something happens, and these sort of situations make their lives + them interesting to read.

I feel like I'm me. I know I am an interesting person to others and I am not afraid to say how I feel, or be confident. But I just want to change. I want to be like a boy you would read in a story. For example, the kinda boy who moves to a new town and is really cute and sweet, and says all these cute, small things, but no one really notices him. Then something big happens in his life and all these new friends come into his life. Months pass and small, intimate moments happen between each member of the group that make the characters think about their lives. Small things begin to change them and they grow and change. Some learn they can be stronger without people, some learn they don't need to hide as much, and they change.

I feel bored with myself. I want to change. I wish I perhaps had a cuter personality, or was quieter. I hate the things I sometimes say without thinking---they're stupid. Sometimes I just blurt something out and regret it straight away. I am such an idiot sometimes. I guess that's kind of like one of those characters I read about. But then why does my life seem so boring and pale, when these stories of these characters lives are so interesting and adorable? Maybe because these stories cut out the boring bits and they seem to constantly be having drama or some sort of interesting moment happening.

I guess when I move cities in a few months things may change. I'll get a piercing and meet new friends. But even so it seems even when these characters are facing a regular issue, like emotions and crushes/love, it seems so interesting and amazing, when in real life they're just your problems, nothing else. How is it these stories make regular life problems interesting? I just wish my life was like a story...

cowgirl