If my mum read this she'd kill me!!

talen

I am a 15 year old dude and I have been experiencing depression since I was 13. It all started when my parents got divorced. When they did I decided to live with my dad because I had been afraid of my mom because of previous abuse. Anyway, my dad was a 'Super Christian' so I was very isolated from all people and music and basically anything that seems normal. I was also home schooled so I really wasn't around anyone. I always listened to all the crap my dad said for years. I was 7 then. I stayed there for 6.5 years and by the time I was 13 I was completely depressed from being by myself and listening to my dad's Christianity Bullsh*t.

Anyway I was depressed far into my 14th year and decided to move to my mom's since she was treating me better when I visited her. I moved. I had also begun to realize that I was bisexual. Which had just put more stress on me because my dad was/is severely against gay and bi people. So finally I moved here to Mom's and have been here for 2 months now. After getting out here my mom began putting regulations and rules on every d*mn thing. She started getting pissed over simple crap. I have always tried to listen but her complaints are hard to understand.

Anyway after getting around people in school I have begun questioning who I am and why I'm living. I hate myself half the time and hate the world next because i'm simply a person whose invisible now. Very few people could even care what happened to me and my family is so diverse, hypocritical, and judgemental. My mom would absolutely hate me if she found out I was bi.

Onward.... Recently I met a guy in my school that I have a huge crush on. He's really cool and cute and I really didn't know if i should tell him or just keep it to myself. We started talking a lot more a few days ago. Eventually our conversation led to me being bi (Because someone else asked me in school and I told them while he was there) We talked for quite some time and he told me that he was Bi as well but found more interest in girls... until he started hitting on me and asking me if I would give guys BJs. The next day I didnt know what to say to him so we started talking and he avoided all subjects of sexuality then told me that he wanted no relationships with guys. I was really crushed for letting myself be lead on and hurt again. I can't say how many times i have been hurt like this. Over and Over and Over. He hasn't talked to me since and it really hurts me.

talen

Not including all the stuff I go through with my mom and being made fun of in school for being agnostic as well (My dad had some part in that) And the fact that I'm always alone and unimportant to all the people around me, also that if my family (Besides My sister) knew I was bi they would disown me and be disappointed with who I had become. The last thing that happened was when my mom found out I was trying weed. She got even more pissed and is making me stay away from all my friends and making my curfew earlier and now I'm grounded for a long time. If she read this she would kill me (Metaphorically)

justgd9