Mother wants a baby-Joke

abcd

A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate.  As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” “It’s ok,” his father replied. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.”
The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother,
was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face.  
Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom
and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his father. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing now?”
“Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied. “Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.”

abcd

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.  The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
She dresses quickly and goes to find him.  
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"  
The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time," said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

abcd

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."
The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."
The guy left.  A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half." The guy left.  
The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back."
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?"
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"

abcd

A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex.  The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?" The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy."
"OK" says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn't probe further. The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having sex.  
The father jumps up and quickly covers himself.  Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table.  His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?"
Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says "me and mommy were making a baby."
His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies "flip mommy over, I want a puppy!"

automa