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Joke: Angel's Food

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發表於 2015-2-11 16:31:45 | 顯示全部樓層 |閱讀模式


Angel's Food vs. Devil's Food







In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli1, cauliflower and spinach2, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth3 white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane4 and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Ranch5 Dressing6, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol7 went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy8 white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil9 changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering10 blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.



1 broccoli  1sbzm            
n.绿菜花,花椰菜
参考例句:
She grew all the broccoli plants from seed.这些花椰菜都是她用种子培育出来的。
They think broccoli is only green and cauliflower is only white.他们认为西兰花只有绿色的,而菜花都是白色的。
2 spinach  Dhuzr5            
n.菠菜
参考例句:
Eating spinach is supposed to make you strong.据说吃菠菜能使人强壮。
You should eat such vegetables as carrot,celery and spinach.你应该吃胡萝卜、芹菜和菠菜这类的蔬菜。
3 forth  Hzdz2            
adv.向前;向外,往外
参考例句:
The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。
4 cane  RsNzT            
n.手杖,细长的茎,藤条;v.以杖击,以藤编制的
参考例句:
This sugar cane is quite a sweet and juicy.这甘蔗既甜又多汁。
English schoolmasters used to cane the boys as a punishment.英国小学老师过去常用教鞭打男学生作为惩罚。
5 ranch  dAUzk            
n.大牧场,大农场
参考例句:
He went to work on a ranch.他去一个大农场干活。
The ranch is in the middle of a large plateau.该牧场位于一个辽阔高原的中部。
6 dressing  1uOzJG            
n.(食物)调料;包扎伤口的用品,敷料
参考例句:
Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。
7 cholesterol  qrzzV            
n.(U)胆固醇
参考例句:
There is cholesterol in the cell of body.人体细胞里有胆固醇。
They are determining the serum-protein and cholesterol levels.他们正在测定血清蛋白和胆固醇的浓度。
8 fluffy  CQjzv            
adj.有绒毛的,空洞的
参考例句:
Newly hatched chicks are like fluffy balls.刚孵出的小鸡像绒毛球。
The steamed bread is very fluffy.馒头很暄。
9 toil  WJezp            
vi.辛劳工作,艰难地行动;n.苦工,难事
参考例句:
The wealth comes from the toil of the masses.财富来自大众的辛勤劳动。
Every single grain is the result of toil.每一粒粮食都来之不易。
10 flickering  wjLxa            
adj.闪烁的,摇曳的,一闪一闪的
参考例句:
The crisp autumn wind is flickering away. 清爽的秋风正在吹拂。
The lights keep flickering. 灯光忽明忽暗。


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發表於 2016-8-2 13:04:11 | 顯示全部樓層
Joke: Angel's Food  Jokes in English

M is my best food !!

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發表於 2016-8-2 13:05:42 | 顯示全部樓層
Joke: Angel's Food  Jokes in English

Dog : May I eat it ....!
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