Joke : What panda does in a cafe

vitaldd

       
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.


"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit.


The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. "I'm a panda," he says, at the door.


"Look it up." The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation...


"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

vitaldd

Important things for doctor


In an anatomy class, a professor teaches his students with the real dead body.


Every students stand around the surgery table. The dead body lie there covering by a big white blanket.


The professor starts teaching " To be a good doctor, there are two important things that everyone of you have to keep in mind. The first one is NEVER FEEL DISGUSTING WITH THE BODY"

The professor then open the blanket and slowly poke his finger deeply to the dead body's anus, spin the finger and suck it right in front of the students.

The professor said to everyone "do it Hurry!"

The students are all feeling very disgusting with the bizarre example but they all decide to do it just to satisfy the professor.

After everyone is done, the professor strongly stare at everyone and said out loud.

"Well, the second important thing for being a good doctor is that "BE OBSERVANT." If you noticed it you would see that I poke my middle finger in the anus but suck my index finger!!"

vitaldd

Chinese and Spielberg


One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.


As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.


Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."


The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.


In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

vitaldd

Four friend at a party
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company.

He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets.

He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either.

His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends!!