Joke: I've Just Bitten My Tongue

sprit101

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.   "Yes, dear," she replied, "Why do you ask?"  
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "  

“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。   “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”  
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

sprit101

Golfer 高尔夫球手
Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything moved but the golf ball. It sat on the same spot.

So he tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.

Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other. "Whoa! What are we going to do?"

Said the other ant, "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."

sprit101

从前有个高尔夫球手，他把球打到了一座蚁丘上。

他没有移动球的位置，而是决定就地击球。于是他使劲一挥球杆，尘土和着蚂蚁，四处飞扬。所有的东西都动了，除了那只球，它呆在原地，一动没动。

于是，他准备再次出击。又是一阵尘土飞扬，蚂蚁们也再次跟着遭殃。而高尔夫球还是纹丝不动。

两只蚂蚁幸免于难，一只晕晕乎乎地对另一只说：“哇，我们怎么办啊？”

另一只蚂蚁说：“我不知道你怎么想，但是我准备爬到那只球上去。”

arheigh

On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

yurain

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."