Hang in there, guys!

erica

I just thought that I'd share my story (not trying to brag or anything). I only want people out there to know that it does get better.

I previously wrote on this website a few years ago. My story was titled If only i could tell you.

Granted that at the time, coming out to my parents---mainly my mum---seemed like the hardest thing to do on the planet.

I can't remember exactly when i did come out, only that i was 15 and i did it a little after writing the story. It was because of the warm and encouraging comments that i was able to go through with it. My mum was great with it, more than great. She was and continues to be fully supportive of me and who i am. The same goes with all my family.

Before i came out, i was a sad and quiet person. I hid who i was, in fear that it would hint at what i was really hiding. Needless to say, when i came out, it all started to slowly change. It took a while for me to be able to come out more. My mum got me in contact with a school counsellor, who was really helpful. Ultimately he helped me to come out to my friends.

That was the 2nd hardest thing i've ever had to do. Sitting there and knowing that what you say next could strengthen or break your friendships is a horrible feeling. On the day, i got so upset i left one of my classes crying and decided to tell them earlier in the day rather than back out. The same for my family went for my friends. They all accepted me and said that they were amazed that i could have that kind of courage.

After that, little by little, i started to regain the person i'd hid from not only the world, but myself. I became more open with my family and peers and i felt more confident and happy.

This year is my last year of school. Earlier on in the year, quite surprising to me, i was voted school captain. I never would have thought that enough people would have chosen to vote for me over the "popular" girls. If i could go back in time to when i was still hiding my sexuality, and tell myself what would happen---the amazing people i'd meet, the experiences i'd have and the emotions i'd feel---i'd probably hit myself over the head with something and call a psych ward.

The point I'm trying to make, and have been trying to is that when we're going through that stuff (trying to come out) we feel as though we're the only people in the world going through it. We feel as though it's going to end in fire and brimstone and everything is going to go horribly wrong.

erica

Hey, i'm not going to kid you around though, sometimes it doesn't turn out exactly as we hoped. Sometimes, there are people around you that can't accept who you are. There may be days that you feel defeated and broken, but you'll push through it. Why? Because at the end of the day, there are so many people like you though out the world and they're all gunning for you to make it.

We can't give the others the satisfaction of thinking that they are going to win. Ask yourself this: is it better to go through life meeting other people's expectations and losing yourself along the way, or being who you are and are meant to be and shining through the crowd? I know which one i'd choose, which one i did chose and let me tell you this, i would never trade my life for anyone else's.

It gets better, things change, ignorant idiots fade away, but you're here for the long run kiddo and that's how you're meant to be: gay, lesbian, transsexual, bisexual, straight, queer or anything in between. And let me just tell you: you're beautiful just like that.